dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I checked into jail on foursquare
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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