that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
