Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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