You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
