ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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