I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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