don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
