take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
