shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
