You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
