I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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