Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
