so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
