I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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