they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
