What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
