The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
