Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize