I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize