Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
