Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize