His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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