So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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