He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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