The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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