I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
