I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
