haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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