My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
