U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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