Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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