no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
