Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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