It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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