Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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