if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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