Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
