I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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