Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
