Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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