nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
