You're so nebulous sometimes
I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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