Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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