i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
