At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
