I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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