I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
