I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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