if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
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The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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