New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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