yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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