singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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