My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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