so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
