Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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