my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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