she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
