i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
