I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
