paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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