Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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