I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
