eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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