hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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